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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Au Revoir

Tis' the last day of the year. And what a year it was. As some news channel had said, it was a year to forget. The year started with a whimper, and then came the big crash of the stock market. And since then, it has been downhill. Unfortunately it ended with one of the boldest terrorist strikes on Indian soil.

In all this time, I managed to finish 3/4ths of my MBA. Still some more time left before I call myself Master of the Universe. It seems only recently that I had written the post on 1/4ths of an MBA. Yet, it feels like a long time ago. On the road ahead, there are a lot of things to think about, a lot of things to do. Among them I have to decide the future of this blog. I haven't written much lately here. Partly it is because there's not much inspiration left, nor the time with the daily routine of MBA. And even though there are only a few months left for its finish, I somehow feel this blog has completed its purpose.

I've learnt a lot of things in this journey, I've grown quite a bit, especially in the last four years. Yet, the more things have changed, the more they seem to stay the same. It is time once and for all to change permanently the things which are not required, to pick up things which will help you in the future and then carry on the journey. Maybe I'll write here once in a blue moon. Till then, I'll be somewhere thinking up something trying to be somebody.

And let us all hope 2009 is a better year for everyone.

Friday, December 05, 2008

What I learnt in MBA

I had heard of the saying 'You scratch my back, I scratch yours.'
In MBA, I learnt the saying, 'You screw my a**, I screw yours.'

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Yeh hai meri kahani

Before one year - Hum jahaan khade hote hein, day-0 wahin sey shuru hota hai

Before placements - Bhagwan mainey tumse aaj tak kuch nahin maanga.....

During the interview,

Me - Main is resume per haath rakhkar yeh saugandh leta hoon ki jo bhi kahoonga sach kahoonga, aur sach ke siva kuch nahin kahoonga.

Interviewer - I-Bankers ke bayaanat aur sub-prime ko madde nazar rakhtey Taz-e-raat-e-hind, dafaa 302 ke tahet , muzrim ko 5 lakh ki pagaar di jaati hai

Me - Maa, me 5 lakh ka MBA banne wala hu

Mom - Yahi din dekhne ke liye maine tujhe paal pos ke bada kiya tha? Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhaane ke layak nahin rahe

(Prospective) Father in Law - Haraamzaadey! Teri itni himmat! Meri beti par dorey daalta hai! Teri haesiyat he kya hai? Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein

Dost (IIM waley) - Maine tumhe kya samjha, Aur tum kya nikley!

Girl friend
- Mai kahti hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey

Doctor - I'm sorry, hum kuch nahin kar saktey. Ab Sab oopar waale key haath mein hai

Faculty - Bhagwaan pe bharosa rakho. Sab thik ho jaiye ga

Thursday, November 27, 2008

One more attack

One more attack happens in Mumbai. Hearing such news has become routine nowadays. The latest attack which happened in South Mumbai, in 5-star hotels and in CST railway station was one of the worst in recent times. This time there were no remote detonated bombs. This time terrorists literally walked in, and started shooting. What were the police doing? CST is just opposite the BMC headquarters. Isn't there supposed to be proper security? The Maharashtra State Police headquarters is at a walking distance from the Taj Hotel. So is the Mumbai Police Headquarters. When will the government learn? How many more lives have to be lost? Has the state devoted itself to kicking out North Indians out of Mumbai? Its time you start kicking the 'right' people out of Mumbai, those who carry out such attacks, not those who come to Mumbai to earn a decent living.

Every terror attack now comes as a predictable sequence of events. The attack happens, the PM condemns the attacks, so does the Home Minister. There is a probe set in. And we await the results. Until the next terror attack. Is the government asking for 'A Wednesday?' The worst thing is that people will hail and salute the 'spirit of Mumbai.' Mumbai will again wake up tomorrow as if nothing had happened. The spirit of Mumai? What a load of bull. It is not the spirit which brings it back to its feet, but apathy. Apathy towards the condition of the common man. The familiar reactions are 'We were not affected by it. Why should we stop going about our daily lives?" "I have 4 mouths to feed, I have to go to work." "Who can postpone the inevitable?" Is this what the spirit of Mumbai is all about? Turning a blind eye to the daily sufferings of fellow citizens.

Tomorrow the spirit of Mumbai should not wake up. It should instead take a long vacation. And it should not come back until the government has taken concrete measures to protect its citizens from such blatant attacks. The whole of India needs to think hard and long, are we safe in our own country? Am I alive today just by luck? Where is the safety of the common man who may get gunned down anytime due to the lackadasial approach shown by the authorities time and again.

Change was required in the US, and the people voted. A bigger change is required here. The message we need to send out to the government is we do not want you to give any condolences. We do not want you to condemn the attack. We want action. Can the government guarantee that?

Updates (Saturday)
* This attack has turned out to be one of the worst and boldest terrorist strikes in the country. It shows yet another glaring failure of the authorities to ensure safety for the common man. The impunity with which terrorist can come and attack any city in the country is shameful on our part.

* The PM has invited the ISI chief to help in the investigations! Cmon which world are you living in? Calling the people who have trained and helped to propagate these terrorists will in no measure help the investigation. The Indian government should stop being diplomatic about it and start calling a spade a spade.

* A sincere salute to the ATS officers, the MARCOS unit and above all the NSG commandos who handled the whole situation with the expertise and competence expected of them. Wish the same could be said for our inept politicians.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Desh Drohi - The rise of KRK

Back from an examination paper which didn't go too well (what's new?) So I should most likely be in a mood to unleash my sarcasm on someone. The most likely candidate this time around is the new kid on the block, KRK. I'm sure you've heard of him, or seen the movie trailers doing the rounds on TV these days. He is the hero of the new film Desh Drohi which seeks to send a message of brotherhood and harmony across the nation. And no, its not about LOC or Indo-Pak relations, but about the feud between the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena and the northern states.

For once I won't ridicule anyone. Reasons, political and otherwise, forbid me to do it and I do not wish to turn this into a sarcastic free-for-all. Some say it is a movie worth going to, because it teaches about the importance of being together in these troubled times. Some say the movie is not worth a review. Is KRK a replacement to SRK? Who know, but all said and done, in the eternal words of Jugad Singh, Aadmi sachha lagta hai. (Wish the placement season would be as simple as this)

My friends say there is no comparison between SRK and KRK. But isn't that what people said when SRK came into the scene? SRK vs Amitabh? KRK vs SRK? As Einstein put it, its all relative. He has a long way to go and so here's wishing the fellow all the best in Bollywood. We come in peace.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Three days

Three days are all you need to understand someone deeply
Three days are all you need to discover their foibles
Three days are all you need to fall in love all over again

Three days are all you need to feel the pain of their tears on your chest
Three days are all you need to see the sad goodbye in the swelled up eyes
Three days are all you need to make the everlasting wait unbearable

Friday, October 17, 2008

From funeral to funeral

Nassim Nicholas Taleb in his book, "Fooled by randomness" writes, "It is said that science evolves from funeral to funeral. After the LTCM collapse, a new financial economist will emerge, who will integrate such knowledge into his science. He will be resisted by the older ones, but, again, they will be much closer to their funeral date than he."

One and only one funeral comes to mind now - the sub-prime crisis, the latest funeral in a long list of never-ending deaths.

P.S. On a related note, MBAs did not cause the sub-prime crisis. We are just not that intelligent.

Definition of an optimist

An optimist is someone who is happy about the weight-loss while sitting in an airplane that is crashing straight down.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

You've come a long way baby

It is often repeated in global business circles that when the US sneezes, the rest of the world catches a cold. But have you ever wondered what happens when the US catches a cold? Judging from recent events, this is what precisely has happened. With the burst of the housing bubble, US has dragged down many other economies of the world. Even the BRIC juggernaut has slowed down.

When did the turn of events happen? When did sub-prime, which was a catch word in B-schools and a hot topic of discussion, suddenly turn into a monster? We have come a long way since last year. A lot of money has since flowed under the bridge. Last September, the sub-prime crisis had just reared its ugly head but no one could have predicted the level to which it has affected every one of us today. Governments are hastily organizing bailout packages for mopping up bad debts. Age old institutions are going off the radar. Investment Banking as a concept has been wiped out.

As far as India is concerned, the decoupling theory was badly routed. India has not been immune to the global hiccup. Inflation reached alarming levels, the pathetic levels of IIP has demoralized the industry and the stock market have seemed to lost all steam. The irrational exuberance which led the Indian stock markets to record highs till January has been squashed. The exuberance has gone; now only the irrationality remains. Newspapers scream valutions at 2005 levels, but who has the courage or the cash to buy today? Judging from the industry scenario, it seems India is heading for a recession with no brakes. And I'm on that train.

P.S. The above is not a rant, nor a crib. Just a dispassionate look on things which have happened and which are in store.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Of Sardars and Idli

What is the height of frustration?
A hungry sardarji sitting in Murugan's Idli Shop.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Is it time to worry yet?

An article I was reading on ZD-Net had this to say about the effect of the global financial crisis on Indian IT firms.

In fact, Premji, one of India's richest men by virtue of his share in Wipro, apparently practices frugality to the extent that he orders 'by-two' samosas in the office café. 'By-two' is a famous local habit, quickly adopted by newcomers, of splitting one order of anything (coffee to soup) between two people to save on costs.


Many of the now bankrupt firms had accounts with the IT giants for developing their IT systems. And since they are no more, the fallout is going to affect the IT industry as well. And here we are being complacent, having McDees and Coke Floats and Subways. Are we being smug about the whole situation? Are we choosing to hide behind a imaginary veil of hope? Has the time to start worrying come yet? Time itself will tell.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Recipe for the perfect evening

A light breeze,
Some dark clouds,
Some screaming monkeys,
A hot cup of tea,
A splitting headache,
A half-eaten pack of biscuits.

Add a few things,
Remove a few things,
and you've got a perfect evening.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

7 Laws a manager must remember

1) Murphy's Law

This is arguably one of the best known and widely quoted laws out there. It was named after Captain Edward Murphy, an engineer in the US Air Force who created it in a fit of frustration. In its simplest form, it says "Anything which can go wrong, will". Many of you might have experienced a corollary of Murphy’s Law in daily life while standing in a queue. The queue in which you stand seems to always move the slowest. Although you cannot do much about selecting the right queue, in the world of business a manager can use this law to be prepared. In this day and age of highly complex and interconnected decisions, it is prudent to have a contingency plan (or many) if the one you choose doesn’t work out. Software projects may overshoot their deadlines, demand forecasts may go horribly wrong because of sudden rise in raw material prices, or the marketing campaign which you so carefully thought up of may go haywire because the competitor trounced you with a newer product. As a manager, you are paid to make decisions, and unless you learn to anticipate things which can go wrong, you won’t be making much progress in your career.

2) Parkinson's Law
"Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion."

This is another law which is quite well-known in the scientific and business community. This was first coined in an article in the Economist in 1955, and time and again it has proved to be true. On the outset, this law simply seems to point that it is important not to procrastinate. A manager is supposed to be efficient in doing his work and in allocating the time required for its completion. But if one digs deeper, one can find out at least two hidden meanings.

One is the principle of budgeting. The actual resources for a project will expand to its budgeted amount. This is a very commonly used practice by functional heads while deciding their annual budget. Rather than improving their department’s efficiency by aiming to cut down on the actual resources used, managers actually allow the bloating of resources so that their forecast looks accurate. Moreover having a higher budget for their department can increase their prestige. An effective manager should instead proactively measure and fight any unnecessary bloating of resources.

The second implication of this law is from the field of Economics. It hides in it one of the basic mechanisms of supply and demand. In the long run, the demand for a product increases to match its supply in order to achieve equilibrium. Although in Economics the reverse is also easily true, once the supply decreases, the demand for that product also decreases (due to higher prices). This is not so easily seen in the business world. If the time available for a project decreases, there is a highly likely chance of it overshooting the old and even the newer deadlines by a significant amount. Thus the Parkinson’s Law enables you to prepare your project plans more carefully.

3) The 80/20 Law

The 80/20 law, also known as the Pareto Principle was actually framed by Juran, one of the leading exponents of quality in manufacturing organizations. This law has been empirically observed to be true in so many situations that it has become universally applicable. In its most general form, it states that 20% of the causes drive 80% of the consequences. In a business environment, it can be applied to many situations - 20% of the employees do 80% of the work, 20% of projects will take up 80% of the resources, 20% of the employees get 80% of the salary(?) etc. A variant of this was even used controversially in GE by Jack Welch to categorize employees into three bands. He exhorted the organization to make the top 20% “feel loved.” Application of this law can help a manager to find out which resources are costliest, which customers are most valuable, which employees are hard-working and thus focus resources on these important causes.

4) Hurst's Law
Complexity can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be displaced.

This law parallels an oft-repeated adage, "Problems cannot be solved." For every problem you solve, there arises at least one problem equal in complexity to the 'solved' problem. Business consultants would do well to keep in mind this law. Armed with a heap of tools and techniques, consultants work to re-engineer business processes and re-structure hierarchies, promising an effective and efficient organization. But many a times they fail to foresee that the new structure is simply creating new complexities which have not improved the overall condition at all. Managers grappling with supply chain issues can also keep in mind this law to ensure the proper flow of information and resources. The entire value chain needs to be looked as a whole to ensure that the complexity is not simply shifting within the organization. They should instead find ways how it can be actually shifted out of the system.

5) Parkinson's Law of Triviality
Organizations give disproportionate weight to trivial issues.

Anyone who has been in a meeting that seemed to last forever has come across this law. The frustration multiplies when your bosses are the ones who guide the meeting and you're but a pawn in the meeting. A very common tendency of managers is to jump into the problem immediately without structuring or organizing the facts first. By not spending time to understand the requirements, one tends to pick up the most obvious problem that comes across and work towards solving that first. But the most visible problem may not be the most important. Following this approach proves to be very wasteful in terms of both time and resources. A manager should keep this caveat next to the Pareto Principle in importance and ensure that by assigning priorities to the problems in front of him, he can apply his resources in the right order and in the right proportion.

6) KISS principle
Keep it simple, stupid

The importance of being precise is constantly hammered by B-schools into students. However a mistake which most newly-minted managers make is to confuse precision with verbosity. Managers are made the butt of many jokes on how they use complex words and phrases even for describing something simple. Thus, “we sell toothbrushes” may turn into “we provide complete oral hygiene”.

Though it is important to be precise to prevent errors, such precision should come from simplicity. As Einstein said, any fool can make things bigger and more complex. It takes a touch of genius and lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

Saying that your organization engages in continuous value creation may look good in mission statements but a manager should be able to simplify things. Not in a way to leave out any particular detail, but so as to be able to explain the 4Ps or Maslow’s hierarchy to a 4-year old child. Spouting out management jargons may impress your peers at the annual industry seminar but will always leave your subordinates confused after they come to you for clarification.

7) Unintended consequences
Any action taken purposefully will produce some unintended consequences.

This is a law which parallels Murphy's Law, but unlike its more famous counterpart, this adage actually allows positive side-effects. This may ensure that a company may find a new use of a previously scrapped product because the government has changed regulations or even the fact that getting fired from a job gave you a chance to develop that entrepreneurial spirit in you.

Although possibly apocryphal, the story of how 3M failed in its quest to develop super glue and instead created one of the most useful inventions in history – the Post-it note is proof enough of this concept. Another example of this law at work in the business world is Adam Smith’s invisible hand concept. An individual aiming to better his interests may actually produce certain consequences which were totally unintended in the beginning. This law ensures that a manager keeps in mind that there could be results which no one has thought of before. He can then take steps to minimize the damage as much as possible. Of course if the side-effect is positive, a manager can claim the action to be intended and well thought of.

The obsolete 6pm rule

Nowadays post-mortems can be conducted even in the dead of the night.
- Professor, Strategic Marketing.

Pun Intended? :)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Sub-prime and buyout blues

Last year, the sub-prime crisis had hit the US home mortgage sector. Around one year has passed since the term came into fad. A lot of articles have been written, a lot of gyan dispersed on the topic. Even I have had some fun with the sub-prime buzzword. But now it seems the circle has been completed. After Bear Stearns collapsed in March this year, it was the turn of the venerable Lehman Brothers to find a similar fate. However there were no takers for the institutions. BoA has agreed to buy Merill Lynch, so such saviour for LB. The financial crisis which we made a lot of fun of last year has come back to haunt us. Though the financial sector has been the worst hit, there will definitely be a trickle down effect in other functions, IT, marketing etc.

The financial system seemed to be in a dire need of a catharsis and recent events seem to have helped in the cleansing. Now it remains to be seen whether the ruins of the financial sector can be cleared in a few months time or is it time to sit at home wondering what to do with an MBA degree? My optimistic (naive ?) self says that the rubble will clear. So it is time to be prepared. It is time to fire up all cylinders, even if there seems to be no road ahead.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Cchange forrtunes througgh numerology

It's official now. Alternative career options are coming back with a big banng. After the recent foray of Jawed Habib into hair-cutting schools, Sanjay B. Jumaani (did I get the number of as right?) is planning to open a numerology school where he plans to teach eeager students the art of adding, twisting and dropping letters from the nnames of celebrities and movies to supposedly turn around their fortunes. He was the 'engineer' behind the naming of the hugely popular movie 'Singh is Kinng', though it remains to be seeeen whether that was the reason why the movie was actually successful. Like a true businessman he says that currently this market is largely unorganized and thus there is a huge potential for such business.

In my opinion, it was ok when you changed the spellings of names of movies or actors. It's their personal choice on how they want to spell their name. My English teacher in school used to tell me that you can pronounce proper nouns any way you like. But what gets to me is the uninhibited way they change the spellings of English words to suit their numerological beliefs. Isn't there any such thing as good grammar? Thus we have names like Singh is Kinng, Heyy Babyy and C Kkompany. Well, Bbollywood cannot be bothered with such petty issues. As long as the film doesn't have any content, the sstrange sounding name won't worsen it anyhow.

One more business opportunityy I missssed. Dammnn.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Laundry woes

Why the last laundry person ran away...

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Lose control

Have you ever experienced that feeling while riding a bike when suddenly your wrist twists a little more than it should? The bike lurches forward, and for a moment you feel totally out of control of the bike, like it is taking you where it wants, not where you want it to go. Immediately you catch hold of yourself, forget everything else and loosen your grip on the accelerator to get back in control of your bike.

While riding a bike the blip on the radar screen disappears but momentarily. Now replace the word 'bike' with another four letter word 'life'. How difficult (or easy) is it to gain control now? Here you're driving on a crowded highway. Here there is not an inch to take or give. The blip this time stays missing for a longer time. So what happens? You crash into people. That is how conflicts arise. That is how fights happen. That is how people get killed.

Riding a bike with no brakes is not a good idea, so is life.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Drawing - an old hobby

Trying to revive an old hobby of mine. Who is this character? Please rate.

Synchronized dudeness

Patting strangers on the shoulder and blurting out 'Chill dude' can be injurious to health (and possibly CGPA) if the stranger turns out to be a professor! :)

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