One fourth of an MBA - II

Rather than editing the former post (One-fourth of an MBA), I'll add on to the post. Many changes have occurred since I last wrote that post. I got the results, got a few certifications along the way, among other things. The results are at best average. I'm somewhere half way among the class as far as grades are concerned. Time to make a very important point. Even before the exams I had lost all concern in the grades I would get in the exams. I had literally followed 'Grades are moh-maya' and had taken it easy. Now if I say that grades are not good, it may feel to most as a case of 'sour grapes'. A better if not ideal situation would be if I can say the same thing 'Grades are moh-maya' even after being at the top 10% of the class. Then it would be a real test of character and self-control ;) Hmm, that's a thought.

AFA Vapi is concerned, it is the same old place. Nothing new except a few more brands opening their stores here and there and a few more buildings getting built. Many other things have changed, most of which I won't jot down here. Due to a cruel turn of fate, I'll be in Chennai on the 31st itself. But then I guess I have to forget all luxuries and pleasures of life till the time I'm doin' my yem bee ay.

Jeet gaya Gujarat

जीत गया गुजरात!

One fourth of an MBA

The exam fever is almost as good as over. Tomorrow is the last exam. It wasn't much of a fever anyway, more like a cold. It troubled me for a week, went away on its own. Of course the result is another fight altogether. With tomorrow's exam and a couple of other assignments, the first semester ends. Twenty five percent of my MBA degree done.

In this four months, I made many friends, learnt a 'huge big' number of things, mostly outside the classroom and by watching group interactions. Of course there was some classroom learning as well. Some of my beliefs got strengthened, some questioned and reversed. How would I rate this semester? 6/10.

Now a month long vacation back in sweet Vapi. Got things to do, got people to meet. And get ready for the next quarter as well. This probably will be my last post from IIT Madras in 2007. See you next year.

PS. I will probably fill in details in this post at home. I want it to be a comprehensive analysis of the first quarter of these two years.

The joys of being a consultant

Sigh... The real joy of being a consultant.











At this point, let me clarify a misconception that have plagued consultants from the advent of crore-plus salaries. There goes a one-liner saying 'Consultants are people who take your watch to tell you the time and charge you for it.'

Agreed. That's what consultants do, but the important thing here is that the watch (your business) is not the typical watch with a clear digital display. The watch (your business) here is an ancient sundial or (god forbid) it could even be a candlestick. Now tell me, will you be able to tell the correct time on this watch of yours or do you need a pistol packing consultant like the above depicted?

The practical side of MBA

Of what use is learning the derivation for the Simplex Method?
Of what use is analyzing the complexity, formalization and differentiation of an organization?
Of what use is drawing endless charts of supply and demand without being able to apply it to daily situations?

Why can't we have a more practical and commonsense approach to an MBA?
Why can't we have more Rajeev Karwals in the classroom?

How to make a whiteboard in $2

The second epidemic (here's the first one) that I was talking about is the 2$ white board I made to remind me of the countless project and ppts I have to submit in the course of getting an MBA. Here's how to go about it:-

1) A 1-metre plastic sheet (the kind used to cover books.
2) A whiteboard marker.
3) Transparent or brown cellotape.

I'm sure the rest is simple. Stick it onto a wall, preferably a white or a light coloured one. Scribble away.

Gunda - Movie Extraordinaire

There are two epidemics spreading rapidly in Pamba Hostel which yours truly is guilty of starting. The first is the under 2$ whiteboard and the second is the cult Mithun movie Gunda. I felt that both these deserve their own post. This post will talk about Gunda. This movie has a cult following in IITs and IIMs. I don't want to dilute the cultism of the movie by describing it here. GreatBong has written about it. If you're keen on watching the movie without letting a review spoilt it, some online shopping site sells this movie for around 8 Euros. That is 432 freaking Rupees. Is it worth buying the movie? With that amount, I could have eat about 7.1 Subway sandwiches. Still I have to say that it is a movie which has many USPs - Mithun (hereby referred to as Prabhuji), an assorted set of villains, a monkey which can rival Yuvraj Singh in catches, and a world record for the largest number of rickshaws ever used in a fight scene (The multi-starrer superhit 'Main hu mard rickshaw-wallah' doesn't count as it used special effects in many scenes).

Even the soundtrack is something to write about. Hummable and singable superhits like Nasha nasha karta hai, is nashe me dum nahi or Teri akhon ka jaadu chal gaya. I wish I could find mp3s of the soundtrack. Kanti Shah must have used some latesht state of the art technology to prevent duplication of the tracks. Another feather in his cap, I guess. I wonder if Himess can make a remix out of it.

Go watch the movie. But leave your brains behind.

The monsoon has arrived

Yes, it seems that the rains have finally reached Chennai. That was the only reason I woke up this early to write - the weather. It is raining, the sky is gray, and it is the perfect time to play Dido’s song Thank You. Shit, I realized that it IS the perfect song to play for reasons unknown to most.

The one place I would love to be right now is at my home. I remember waking up on wet lazy Sunday mornings, my mother making me a hot cup of tea with fresh khaman, fafda and jalebi, and I reading the crisp newspaper or just lazily browsing the TV channels. The filling morning breakfast, the yummilicious traditional gujju lunch and a long siesta in the afternoon. Sometimes I used to eagerly wait for the evening F1 race. Contrast those days with now.Now I’m stuck here in a dirty 6 x 12 hostel room with monkeys as the only visitors. There, I spoiled the whole mood I built up. Oh well.

Somehow I love the Chennai rain more than Mumbai or Vapi rain. The rain in Mumbai pelts you with big droplets and soaks you completely. Then God laughs out loud through noisy peals of thunder and as the old joke goes, he takes a picture with a flash of lightning. The Chennai rain is different. It gently kisses you before floating to the ground. The Chennai rain is perfect to walk in with your girlfriend hand in hand, under one umbrella. Someday I will too.

How to answer any eco-financial problem

The wonders of supply and demand

Though the diagram more or less explains it, here's the gist of it.

1) Start by discussing the problem, maybe by repeating the definition.
2) Try to link it to the Supply and Demand concept.
3) For added effect, link it to an existing economic issue, like the sub-prime crisis or the P-Notes issue.

The interviewer is likely to be impressed! While you're digesting this, read the previous post as well.

Blame it on sub-prime

If the sub-prime crisis has given anything to the junta in general, it is a no-holds-barred excuse to attribute anything and everything to the crisis. Even though the topic is now stale and the interest of the people is moving on to newer issues like the never ending bull run in the Indian stock market or the Sethusamudram project, sub-prime has become a common term in our vocabulary.

The appreciating rupee? Because of sub-prime.
Rising interest rates? Because of sub-prime.
Falling interest rates? Because of sub-prime.

Even in the classroom, we find the sub-prime crisis rising up now and again in all subjects ranging from Economics to Operations Research and Organizational Behaviour. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has now become an expert in sub-prime. Its high time when I'm waiting for the following scenario

While at the local snack parlour,
Me: Why have you increased the price of bread omelette?
Gurunath stores: Saar, sub-prime. Hens tensed up. Supply of eggs low. So omelette now more expensive.

Prime excuse of sub-prime
Professor: Why didn't you come to class yesterday?
Me: Sir, I was affected by an acute attack of sub-prime.

What is MBA?

Bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit fart bullshit bullshit bullshit crap bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit

Raincloud

Today the evening sky was suddenly consumed in the dark clutches of an enormous rain-cloud and the sky turned from a dull gray-blue to pitch-black in a matter of minutes.

What's with all the high fundu Sanksrit names?

As an MBA student, a very important and common occurrence is the B-school fests and the related contests. While most of these B-fests are fun and worthwhile to participate in , one interesting thing I have noticed about these fests or at least their names is that they are almost always in Sanskrit or in shuddh Hindi. Most of them are high funda names whose meaning I don't understand without staring and thinking for a minute.

I understand the reason for having the title of the B-fest itself in a language other than English, it adds charm and exclusivity to the whole festival, but do individual events have to sound so fundu too? Why can't we have names which are easy for everyone to understand at a single glance? Why do I have to look up the dictionary to understand what Pratidwandi means or what am I supposed to do in Shashwat? A similar trend to follow is to use Latin names. A simple stock market game has to be called Prosapia venalicium venatus. And a hospes sermo would garner more attendance than a guest talk.

'Hey do you know I'm participating in Navinmetra and Udgati?'
'Um... that's nice, all the best for ... uh... whatever you will do there...'

I wonder if this trend is an extension of would-be and new managers to spout out new fundae the meaning of which even they can't explain in real terms leave alone the poor listener. Whatever it is, the trend of giving out such names is likely to continue, because that is precisely what it is - a fashion. And as usual, I feel otherwise. What I would rather suggest is the addition of a subtitle in English like those Hindi movies. It will help angrez ki aulads - The children of the Britishers like me. We can have Parichay - The introduction, or Antardarshi - Timing the stock market etc.

Before ending this, it would be only proper to share the festivals here at IIT Madras. Saarang is the hugely popular cultural festival, Shaastra is the tech-fest, Samanvay is the b-fest.




Note - Names of some B-school fests have been changed to protect identity. The words given above may not mean anything. If you plan to use any of them, I deserve a royalty.

Where are the rains?

As someone who has lived in and around Gujarat all his conscious life, I feel confused at the pattern of monsoons in Chennai. It is the end of September and I haven't seen a day of continuous rains. By this time, Vapi or Mumbai would have lashed you with all its fury, given you a couple of holidays thrown in and by and large a few bouts of cold as well. Chennai has a very different pattern. It is burning hot for four to five days. Then suddenly, out of nowhere you see some dark clouds hovering above your head. Those are the warning signs of an hour or so of rains, and more importantly a surprise quiz in the OB class. But the wind carries the clouds away before you can say 'I wish I had some tea and hot pakoras.' Not that I mind though. I am not much of a monsoon person anyway.

The reason for the low rainfall in Chennai during this time of the year is of course its location. I am told that Chennai gets most of its rains through the retreating monsoons. This means that the peak rain season is Oct-Dec. So I guess Chennai is yet to get its share of rains. As someone who is learning the importance of drawing pictures, here are the rainfall figures for Mumbai and Chennai which will give you a better idea. Clearly, the monsoons are yet to come, and considering the view from my room, I'm eagerly waiting for it.

Mother of all exams

Had a wonderful time in the exam today. Not that the exam went nice; rather it was one of the toughest exams I ever wrote. Still I didn't feel disappointed at all. I was laughing at myself for my inability to make heads or tail out of it. In the end, I managed to fit in a distribution to one of the questions, managed to draw a graph among other things.

PS. Friends are forcing me to study for the next exam. Have no motivation to do it but will do it anyway. Will probably complete this post in the night.

Time to be back

(7:57)
Right now I should be buried in my Organizational Behaviour text book. I have an exam in an hour or so. But somehow I felt I had to write this post now. I think the time has come to open up this blog for its second innings. Don't have any justifications as to why now, but somehow I feel the time is right. I still don't know what I will write here; probably it will be the same old blog - my unwanted opinions on anything and everything. But one distinction I will make is that I won't post any creative material on this blog. The stories, the poems, the one-liners will stay on my other blog. Let this blog continue its journey to what I had created it for - In search of Nirvana.

What a day! Today I regurgitated 2 months of course material in around 2 1/2 hours. Whether I did a good job or not will be clear in a month when the marks come out. Never have written so much in so little a time. Next is the mother of all exams - Data Analysis for Management. Don't think I've forgotten what's after that. Financial Accounting - the grand-daddy of all exams. Two days of pain followed by two hours each of shock therapy. Lets see how many parts of the body I still have intact after that ordeal.

Structure of a brainstorming meeting

1) Set the meeting before lunch; this would be the first part of the meeting. In this encourage the brainstorming without any limit on the ideas.
2) While breaking for lunch, suggest everyone to think up of any new ideas during lunchtime.
3)Set up the next part of the meeting after lunch, when you can convert the ideas into a more practical framework.

On life and bullshit

Then God said, Let there be light: And there was bullshit.

My future?

Different people peak at different times

Which one are you? Which one do you want to be?

What is going on in the world today?

Sigh.

No farewells

I don't need to pack my bags,
I don't need any lengthy farewells,
I'm ready to go,
Just call me when you want me God.

Innovation & belief

Innovation and self-belief will get you to the top

Who the fudge makes all these effigies?!

For all you budding entrepreneurs and businessmen, here is an interesting business proposal. Have you ever wondered who makes all these effigies which are being burnt in the middle of the streets every time a minor issue comes up in the society? Effigies have been burnt of almost every imaginable person or thing. We have had effigies of Greg Chappell, Darrell Hair, the Iraq war, producers of Big Brother and even onions. Nowadays if you haven't burnt an effigy, you haven't done anything significant to help society. Looking at this craze, I feel there is a very good opportunity of starting a profitable business in making effigy-models. Demand from all over the world will ensure that our business won't be restricted just to India. We can export these effigies to our neighbouring countries and the Middle-East as well, where there is already a fledgling market thanks to Dubya and his dubious war.

I mean what would be the investment? The public isn't looking for an exact look-alike of the person being burnt. All you need is a resemblance of a human figure. Two hands, two legs and a head. The face of the celebrity can be printed out easily and cheaply (We can charge a premium on laser-prints). Of course, the final price will be decided once we develop a proper business model. And with all the media channels in a hyperactive mode, we are sure to have a profitable cash flow as well. Moreover the social work we are doing by letting people vent their frustrations through burning effigies will work wonders for the Corporate Social Responsibility crap.

Thirty five sq. metres of land has been acquired adjacent to the proposed Maha Mumbai SEZ for our manufacturing facilities. Our tagline - 'Making efficient effigies in indigenous SEZs'. It rhymes too.

This would be just a sample of our services
* 24-hour delivery
* Black and white or colour effigy
* Different sizes - Economy, Medium, Large, Premium etc.
* 7-day money back guarantee (Conditions apply)
* Scented effigies - sandalwood, rose, orange etc.
* One box of matches free with every effigy.

The downside. The pollution issue. How much does effigy burning contribute to global warming? George Bush would find a reason to invade a country - Weapons of Global Warming. But shhh, this information will stay within the Board.

Ping me if you want to finance this venture :)

Good To Great - book review

Well I currently don't have the time to write a full-fledged review. The book was good, applicable not only to companies but to individuals as well. The central point of the book revolves around The Hedgehog Concept which is based on three circles:-

1) What you can be the best in the world at
2) What drives your economic engine
3) What you are deeply passionate about

Cutting through all the jargon, it basically means do a job which you like, which you're good at, and which provides sufficient income. A job which I love and it still provides me money? Almost close to an oxymoron.

The second most important point (for me) in the whole book was the concept of preserving the core ideology of a company while at the same time changing operating practices in line with the environment. This point is very simply put in the book I'm currently reading. 'It happened in India' by Kishore Biyani. Rewrite rules and retain values. I'm tracking my reading here.

Lagaan - Cricket without the cricketers

Another image created by removing the person, and keeping the clothes. I know I have got nothing better to do.

High American standard company contacts me

I found this mail today in my Inbox.

---
Hello Friend,

I saw your profile on Timesjobs.com [hell, even I don't know my profile anymore] and short listed few people to present an unique Home Based Work Offer.

We are an International American Company. [like the phrase, our company is world famous in India]
We are operating in 64 major countries working for past 26 years.
We Deal in Health Nutrition & Tele Communication.
Right now our company is looking out for people for its new division called "ShapeWorks" TM,
to perform different functions


like, Customer care, Supervising, Management,
Working on Internet with an option of Working from home.
Without sacrificing your current occupation.
Our company provides all support and training needed.
You can do it part time or full time in flexible hours.
No Qualification or Experience Needed…
And we have a High American standard of income.

For more information you can come down to one of the oriantayion [I was gonna apply but this put me off] sessions on:



26th april 2007 thurssday [???] at 6.00 pm sharp*
or
27th april 2007 friday at 6.00pm sharp*
at
hotel sahaja palace,conferanceroom.ashram road.behinddinesh hall near torant house [umm, which city should I go to?]


These are the only dates for company oriantation [arre atleast you should have copy-pasted from above]
And Ask for Mrs.xxxxx at the counter.

All the best,
MRS. XXXXX

Director- Business development
xxxxxx@yahoo.com
CALL, 09xxxxxxx, 022xxxxxxx

Please Take Print out of this letter to the interview.

*There will be a Regn Fee of Rs.30 at the counter

Rang de Basanti - A generation disappears

Did this in my free time. Click to view full. Original image here.

Dilbert comic for 23rd April - Long boring meetings

This comic strip made me laugh like a baboon! Can't wait to get into the boardroom and witness this firsthand. :-)) The interesting thing is that this happens in the classroom too.













PS. My only concern is, are baboons allowed inside the boardroom?

How to read faster - an experiment

Today I am starting with the book 'Good to Great' by Jim Collins. Along with it, I made a Google spreadsheet to keep track of the number of pages I read daily. I have kept aside 10 days for reading the whole book and thus it works out to some 26 pages per day. By creating a chart showing the actual and the optimal reading speed, I get an idea of where I am and whether I need to speed up.

The observations I hope to ...err... observe are:-
1) Does keeping track of daily reading help me increase my speed?
2) Does it make me more regular? Is there any correlation between the day of the week and the number of pages I read?
3) Does reading faster necessarily result in better comprehension?

Update (1st May 07) - Although, I managed to finish reading the book faster than the optimal and the revised targets, a single book isn't indicative of any trend. So I plan to extend this experiment to few other books as well. Read about the review of Good to Great here.

Tuesdays with Morrie - Book review

Finished reading this book in little over two days. A simple and clear read. I found it quite moving, especially about the deteriorating appearance of the author's professor and the difficulty in doing simple things which we take for granted. Having experienced a recent death in my family, I know how difficult it is for the family to see the person suffering. Thinking about death is an event which is a reality check for the victim, for and those around him. It brings to the forefront simple things such as love, support and understanding and puts behind things such as money, fame, power etc. As explained by the author, the book was littered with Morrie's aphorisms, some of which were worth thinking twice about. Here are my favourites:-

"Do what the Buddhists do. Every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, `Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be?' "
A simple reality check. Am I doing the things I'm supposed to do or am I just chasing the pot at the end of the rainbow?

"The truth is, Mitch," he said, "once you learn how to die, you learn how to live."

If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children.

This is how you start to get respect, by offering something that you have.

"When you're in bed, you're dead."
This sentence, I feel, has multiple meanings. Besides the literal meaning, it also means (to me) that as long as you're in bed, you're unlikely to do any useful work. Get out of the bed, get out of the house, get into the community if you want to do something worthwhile.

If I worried about being forgotten after I died?
Hmm. Most of us probably worry about this in secret.

...there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
Amen to this.

God is a DJ

If God is a DJ, why doesn't he ever play my song?

Suicide and video-conferencing

It seems that the media has started providing long distance telephone call service to needy people. An example of this is the recent suicide attempt by one Jahnavi Kapoor and the subsequent telecasts of her talking with her mother and her brother live on national television. Oh, did I say telephone service? Change that to videoconferencing. Its quite simple really. All you have to do to get selected is to dig up some sensational issue, preferably about yourself or it could be about any celebrity. For example, you can claim to run away from home because your parents didn't agree to an inter-religion, inter-caste or same-sex marriage. Or you can tell the news channel about your relationship with any celebrity. That's it. The news channels will take it from there. They'll hook you up with the celebrity, with your parents, relatives etc. You'll also have the choice of having either an astrologer or a psychiatrist at your disposal. Umm, I just cut my fingernail. Do I qualify for the long distance call? I need to call up Arjun Singh urgently.

Gourmet coffee, anyone?

After going through the coffee lovers' thread at pagalguy.com, I realized how far the coffee industry had come. With retailing coming into the forefront in India and with the setting up of international coffee chains, people now sip coffee named 'The Devil's own', 'Almond Frappe','Kaapi Nirvana' etc. And to think that I'm still stuck at the small Bru/Nescafe pouch. Just add water and sugar, it says, and you'll have your own espresso ready. Sip... Lick... Ummmm... it says. Well, never mind the fact that its more of sip... blechh... spit... @#$!%&*

I have never been attracted to coffee. For me it never did its job. In fact, coffee has a calming effect on me, quite the opposite to what it is supposed to do. I remember the countless number of times during my CAT preparation that I have felt asleep just after having a cup of coffee. For me the good old chai is a major addiction - especially in the morning. Don't try to talk with me before I have had my morning tea or I'll make you squirm in pain.

Whenever I have had coffee, it was due to circumstances. Coffee helped a lot in my college days. It was mainly because I hadn't come across any instant tea mix. During the submissions and the exams, the all-nighters had to be survived through. The 3Rs. Nescafe pouch helped me through those long nights. But I'm sure I was only one of some ten people in Ahmedabad who actually drank that instant coffee. I remember my roomie looking at me strangely many a times whenever I drank this concoction. Another time when it helped was at my previous company. Gathering with fellow internet surfers software developers and spending time near the vending machine was always a good excuse to get away from the boss. Eventually we had worked out a strategy which involved visiting the vending machines on all the floors once in a day. Ultimately we calculated that a mixture of 3/4ths coffee and 1/4th tomato soup will do wonders to your concentration and help you through the siesta sessions meetings. But there was a side effect on some which involved an extra visit or two to the loo (which again was a welcome break).

To me, coffee has been useful in many ways. It may have its lovers, but for me, Wagh Bakri scores over The Devil's Own.

Formula One - The formation of the equals

Well well. What a race! Massa managed to hang on to his pants this time. And Hamilton is proving to be a revelation more and more after each race. Wouldn't be too surprised if he's now at par with Alonso as an equal driver. I wouldn't go as far as compare him to Schumacher. Coulthard maybe. He'll have to work much much harder to be compared to Schumi!! Even Massa could be an equal contender to Raikonnen if he performs well in the next couple of races. It is going to be a really good year.

Poor Coulthard had to retire bcoz of his engine. He worked hard to catch up with half of the herd. Alonso had a quiet race.

PS: Just a draft. Will clean up this post later.

German is in, Java is out

To be frank, I don't have much knowledge of foreign languages. Of course, I know a little French e.g. Parlez vous is the name given to the Parle-G biscuits which are exported to Paris. ich (German for I) is the cute sound which one of my friends makes when she sneezes. Puta is Spanish for umm... well... never mind. The point is that I have never learnt a language in its entirety. And that's what I'm about to do now. I'm planning to learn German. Actually its not a new thing. I have been trying to learn German since my college days. Thought that learning a new language would improve my resumé. But time and other constraints caused me to put such grandiose ideas aside and dive back into my engineering books. In the struggle to learn Java and C++, the quest to learn German went kaput.

The second wave started during my project days. SAP was implemented in the company I was doing project in, and again I dreamt big dreams of going to Germany for SAP training. Thus having a working knowledge of German would have helped me converse freely with the 'Germanese'. That stint again was short-lived.

As far as I can remember there were a couple of stints more, dictated by the situations and the spurs of the moment. But all these stints didn't help in any way. Considering my limited German vocabulary, a Yahoo chat conversation would go like:-

Me: Guten Morgen/Guten Tag
German: Guten Morgen! Wie gehst du heute?
Me: Umm... well... uh... Auf Wiedersehen.

*Click* *Click* *Log-off*

But now this bhoot of learning German has again taken over me. So I have downloaded the Complete Idiot's Guide to learning German (Extra Idioticity Edition), and this book coupled with the Internet will help me learn this authoritative language. Then I'll have a multilingual blog. Then I'll get visitors from Germany. Then I'll be ... (beta niche aaja). Anyways, if nothing else I'll feel good at learning something new.

So, Auf Wiedersehen for now, and ja, to the foot-in-the-grave politician I was talking about recently, du bist ein schwarzes Schwein (Tsk tsk. I can see you running to Google Translate. Chalo uski bhi link de deta hu).

The last king of Scotland

Just saw 'The Last King of Scotland'. When I had first heard of the title, I didn't know what it was actually about. Then two things attracted me to this movie, firstly it was about Idi Amin, the notorious Ugandan dictator, and secondly Forest Whitaker played Idi Amin's role.

The movie is a dark, grim movie which starts out with a mixture of suspense and humour (mainly due to Amin's charm), but then as the movie progresses we see Amin's dark side. Forest Whitaker has delivered an excellent performance, every bit worthy of his Oscar award. The suspense during any scene where Amin's advisor gets the guts to suggest something to Amin is palpable. The way Whitaker pauses before replying is, for a lack of a better word, too scary. We think he's about to burst out and shoot the poor chap to Kingdom Come, but then he gives a huge smile and the tension dissipates. James McAvoy plays a Scottish doctor and personal physician to Idi Amin. At the beginning, he comes out as arrogant, cocky and carefree. Again as the movie progresses, he realizes the mess he has gotten himself into. His character was as dark as Whitaker's. A short role by Gillian Anderson was another pleasant surprise.

The film has been rated mature, and two scenes in particular are really gruesome. I won't reveal them here, but be prepared to watch the horrors perpetrated by Amin's regime. I guess showing the violence was the only was for people to realize the extent of his cruel dictatorship. This site has some of his videos.

All in all, a very good movie. It will get you interested in Idi Amin and his eccentric ways and, like Blood Diamond, it will give you a glimpse of the continent of Africa.

TIA.

Freakonomics - A half-read book

I started reading this much-hyped book a couple of days ago. Currently I'm halfway through the book and I found it to be a mixture of interesting, absurd and downright boring. The book starts with explaining the importance of asking the right questions. But to me the questions asked in the book are strange.

Strange? Yes.
Useful? No.

Judging from the title of the book, I guess it isn't meant to be a serious study in the field of economics (again, is it economics or just plain statistics?) and the society. Just a freak correlation between unlikely to be related events. Some of the explanations given are worth thinking about, like the part on asymmetric knowledge or the part on conventional wisdom:-

But they cannot deceive on their own. Journalists need experts as badly as experts need journalists. Every day there are newspaper pages and television newscasts to be filled, and an expert who can deliver a jarring piece of wisdom is always welcome. Working together, journalists and experts are the architects of much conventional wisdom (not necessarily a positive term).

while some of it is just plain commonsense. Like the question 'Why Do Drug Dealers Still Live with Their Moms?' The answer is simple. The small fish in the gang are bound to earn much less than the average. It is only the leader of the gang and his few trusted cronies who would earn good enough to get their bling bling and their low-riders. This certainly didn't warrant living six years with crack dealers or getting hold of the financial transactions of a crack gang.

At one point (the description of the KKK) I felt it so boring that I wanted to abandon reading this book. But it was sleepiness which was making its effect felt (again due to the book?), and so I started reading it again. I hope to learn something by the time I finish it.

Update (9th April 07): I'm done with this book. No I haven't finished it. I have kept it aside. I couldn't take more of these strange comparisons if they were not going to be useful in any way. While reading this book, I was reminded of another writer of the same genre, Malcolm Gladwell. His book, Blink had made the presses and had got many raves. The same feeling had accompanied me while reading Blink and The Tipping Point. I felt the book to be empty of spirit (There I go again). Just a collection of numbers and statistics. While both this writers have gone against the norm and brought out innovative ways of thinking, I just can't digest their writing. So I'm keeping this book back in its shelf. In the future when I'm getting bored in the CEO's chair, I'll pick up this book and make up some nice Dilbertian theories to irritate my employees, while at the same time, impressing the Board of Directors.

Kkkaash Mmujh Mein Bhhi Thodii Akkal Hotiii

Although it is still a draft, here is my first episode.

[Suspenseful music and slow motion as the husband walks in to the hall]

Husband01: My watch! It has stopped ticking.
[Heavy drums. Zoom-ins of all the other members of the family one by one. Pan the camera from one shocked face to another]

Vamp:[Looks down and smiles smugly] Relationji, are you sure it isn't your brain which has stopped ticking?
[Zoom in on the lips, and the sly smile]

Mother-in-law: [Eyes wide open. Stern expression.] Bahu, talk with some respect. Do you have any idea what you are saying?

Vamp: [Looks sideways and smirks.] Its true only. The whole samaj knows that you dropped him on his head while he was small. Who knows what all has stopped ticking?

Mother-in-law(of vamp): [Red hot eyes. Burns in anger] Slapppppppp! [Multiple echoes of the slap. Drums again. Zoom in to the astonished and lost faces of the family members.]

A quick ad first...

This programme is sponsored by Anacin. Quick relief from headaches.

Note: Anacin is currently available only in limited quantities. Most of the stock is used by the Board of Directors of the company for agreeing to sponsor this programme. Our sponsorship ends after two months. Thereafter we will be free to release more medicine to the general public.


Back to the programme...

Mother-in-law(of vamp): [Red hot eyes. Burns in anger] Slapppppppp! [Multiple echoes of the slap. Drums again. Zoom in to the astonished and lost faces of the family members.]

Mother-in-law(of vamp): [Wipes the make up stuck on her hand from the slap. Tears come to her eyes.]

Vamp: [Turning to face her husband (Husband02)] Aiejee, ojee. See what your budhiya mother is doing to me. You said to me you'll take care of me after our marriage. This is what you do, stand silently while your mother insults me in front of the whole family (and the 10 crore fools which are glued to their TV sets ) ? I won't stay a moment in this wretched house. [Turns around and walks out from the set]

Husband02: My dear Vamp, wait for me. [Follow Vamp out of the set].

Mother-in-law(of vamp): Bahu (To wife of Husband01). Look after your husband. You're the only one who will take care of this huge house after I have an argument with the director over payment issues I die. Please take care of this house as your own.

Wife01 [Wife of Husband01]: Jee maaji. [Turning to Husband01] .Come let us go, buy a new battery for your watch. Then it will start ticking.

In the next episode... Who do Husband01 and Wife01 encounter when they reach the watch repair store? Who is the owner of the watch repair store? What is the relation between OwnerOfWatchRepairStore and Wife01? Keep watching for more of Kkkaash Mmujh Mein Bhhi Thodii Akkal Hotiii. Write in the comments on how you liked this first episode.

Wanted - Shooting crew for a new daily soap

After failed stints as a software engineer and an MBA aspirant, I'm planning to pursue a new career, that of a TV soap producer. I know this is a thankless field, lots of hard work with not much ROI, but the pleasure which the viewers of my soap will get, the appreciation which they will shower on me will be enough for me to carry on this altruistic work. Here are the current requirements and the briefs for the show. I want a fresh approach and thus I'm building everything from scratch. If you meet any or all of these requirements, please comment or mail me.

Editor: One who is experienced in rewinding and forwarding film endlessly, so that the viewer is continuously bombarded with the latest fashion, the dialogues, the locations etc. Your responsibility is to think up of ways to expand 5 minutes of footage into some 12.5 minutes of an episode. Also, while editing, the following division of the 30 minutes will be preferred:-

• 5 minutes recap of the previous day's episode
  
• 7.5 minutes of ads
• 12.5 minutes of today's episode
• 5 minutes preview of next day's episode

Camera Crew: One who is adept at the techniques of zooming and panning. Only candidates who have relevant experience in this may apply. Tilting the camera sideways to show the metaphorical earthquakes in the lives of the characters will be (to take a phrase from Midnight's Children) a masterful stroke, yaara. Experience in multiple camera setups (so that the zooming can be done in parallel) will be a bonus point.
Warning: Constant zooming in and out can lead to Carpal Tunnel Syndrome for the cameramen and epileptic seizures for the viewers. The producers are not responsible for any damages that may arise due to the same. After all, we wouldn't be making this soap if we cared so much about the viewers.

Post production & Special Effects: Since most of the special effects will be taken care of by the makeup artistes, we do not require a Silicon Graphics setup. However, talks are in progress with Industrial Light and Magic for the special effects. Ours will be the first Indian television programme to use Hollywood-style special effects. Not even the world famous The Bald and the Bootyful have used such effects. But for now, the applicant must be deft in tweaking the hue and saturation of the characters especially after shocking revelations. e.g.

Man: I'm about to become the father of your child.
Woman: What?! [Zoom, Pan to the woman. Decrease saturation. Turn the whole scene to black and white. Stay for two seconds. Increase saturation. Again back to normal.]

This all has to be done with split-second precision. Thus you will have a very important responsibility of adding colour to the lives of the characters (and removing that from the lives of the viewers).

Make-up artistes: The entire operation hinges on the make-up artistes. For most of the scenes, only two palettes will be required - the Vamp palette and the Bahurani palette. The former should contain blues, greens, browns etc. and the latter should contain pink, red, and other soft colours. At any point of time, the characters must not be without makeup, be it just after waking up, after taking a bath, or after giving birth to a child. We want to show that the bahuranis are beautiful naturally and don't require any makeup.

We have an arrangment with KaKool Hair & Beauty Saloon (Goregaon branch) for providing foundation cakes and hair colour at a discounted rate. So liberal use of the same is encouraged. Innovative techniques such as using chili powder for the maangtikaas will do wonders to improving your chances for selection. The chili power will not only subsidise our costs, but will also make the bahuranis cry with more ease when the powder drips onto their eyes or nose.

Costume Designers: Just like the make-up palette, the fashion wardrobe will be divided into two types. One - loud, revealing, outrageous dresses for the vamps and the other - conservative, covered-from-head-to-toe kind of dresses. Other accessories such as jewelery should follow the same trend. Bindis in the shape of hearts, clubs, diamonds, spades, snakes, ladders etc. will be preferred for the vamps. Bahuranis will have round bindis.

The vamps will use the latest mobile phones to hatch their subversive plots on the innocent bahuranis and jamairajas. The bigger the cellphone the better. According to currently running soaps, the Nokia Communicator series is preferred. Good news: we have tied up with MTNL to provide the ringtones for all the mobile phones used in the programme. Thus, the phrase 'MTNL hai to behtar hai' will play out every time a mobile rings. Actors and crew members are expected to show their allegiance by replacing their favourite ringtones with this one. Again, to subsidise costs, we may replace the actual phone by using a dummy or even a compass box. We will assume that the audience is foolish enough not to know the difference (after all it is watching this show). For the bahuranis, the accessories will include sitars, harmoniums and/or cooking utensils.

Writer: You are the one of the most important crew members. The entire story depends on your fertile mind. You will be expected to provide innumerable twists and turns, ups and downs, lefts and rights to the story. Writing the story while commuting on Mumbai roads will provide natural inspiration. Keep in mind that the story should start out as something and end out something completely different. That will be a true test of your creativity.

While you're free to explore different genres, the storyline of our programme will be a combination of - A suitable boy (Vikram Seth), Autobiography of a Yogi (Paramhansa Yogananda), Morning, Noon and Night (Sidney Sheldon) and I, Robot (Isaac Asimov). Please submit a sample of your writing while applying so we can gauge your writing expanse.

Sound editor: Your responsibility will be to provide a background score keeping in mind the events on screen. Your musical canvas must include thunder, lightning, drum rolls, high hats. Think of it as a jugalbandhi with the constant zooming and panning of the camera crew. You don't need to be a Rahman but don't be a Reshammiya either.

Director: You will be responsible for converting the writer's regurgitations dream to the screen. You must be assertive. You must be be willing to enforce discipline on the crew members. Conflicts on set must be handled with finesse. The current trend is to just threaten to bump off the character in the soap. We will modify this technique by making the character go in to an indefinite coma. We have specially erected a hospital set for the same. However this technique doesn't work for off-screen crew members. Innovative suggestions are welcome.

That's all for now. I will keep updating this list as and when I hire and fire people. Bookmark it for the latest updates. The title of our programme hasn't been finalised, but going by current trends, it will start with a Kk (Yes, that's a letter which is soon to be added in the English alphabet).

Update: My writer has just provided the first episode. Carry on reading the first episode

Midnight's Children

Sigh. I finally finished reading Midnight's Children. I had taken up this book little less than a week ago. And what a journey it was. From the birth of Saleem Sinai on the stroke of midnight on August 15, 1947 to his encounters with various characters who shape his life (and whose life he shapes). The book is one of the wittiest I have ever read. The literal way in which events recur in Saleem's life is a very good metaphor for the cyclic nature of everyone's life and family. Another unique technique which I have never encountered before in any book is the author's use of shifting forth in time by revealing the fate of a certain character and then coming back and continuing with the original story. The exact opposite of building a suspense. However, this technique works beautifully and does not detract from the flow of the story. Moreover it adds a lot of wit to the narration. The way in which the author carries this out shows the confidence with which he writes. This was my first Salman Rushdie read and surely not the last.

Incidentally, this is the third book related to Mumbai which I have read within a year. The first two were Maximum City, and Shantaram. An involuntary obsession for a city I love, and if everything goes fine, then hopefully a city in which I will spend the next few years.

A Thinkpad taken apart

Not for the faint hearted.














A little cleaning behind the ears














Yes, it still works!

Where is the accountability of the Indian cricket team?

A nation of billion and the eleven of the most unaccountable chaps + 1 Aussie are selected to represent the country in (and bring back) the world cup. And what do they give us? Shattered dreams.

Both Rahul Dravid and Greg Chappell have washed their hands off the entire debacle by saying 'We are responsible.' Now to me, that is as obvious a statement one can make. We all know you are responsible. Give us something more. What you have said is the effect. Let us know the cause. Give us something more than 'We didn't play well enough.' Taking responsibility is fast becoming a fad. Previously, when teams lost a match or a series, there was some vague reason given for the bad performance. Nowadays, teams whole-heartedly agree that it was their responsibility. Saying that seems to release them from giving further safai. In the above-linked interview, Guru Greg blankly refuses to comment on the reasons for the early exit of the team from the world cup. The team won't say what Sehwag was doing in the playing eleven, they won't explain the complacency with which India played Bangladesh, they won't explain what certain players were doing in the dressing room outside the team. All they will say is that they are responsible.

Spiderman was taught that 'With greater power, comes great responsibility.' I would like to take this one step further by saying, 'Along with responsibility, comes accountability.' Accountability is when you explain the reasons what went wrong and why it went wrong. When the Guru says this to the press,

I am not employed by you people, I am employed by the BCCI. Obviously, I will have to face up to them and give them a report and give them some indications of what I think.

the first thing that comes to my mind (especially from the second sentence) is a meeting of the coach and the captain with the BCCI and the selection panel, press cameras trying to get a glimpse or a few sound bytes, and the meeting ending with the members slapping each other heartily on the back and having tea and biscuits. The report will lie neglected on the table until some secretary will push it among his files and then add it as yet another official document to be relegated in the shelves. Well, I'm digressing from the topic.

Almost half of the players have become amateurs comparing the time they spend on the cricket field and on the ramp or in front of cameras. Why do you want to dabble your hand in everything? Do your modeling/marketing in your free time, not at the cost of your cricket or at the cost of others who are working much harder to get a place in the team?

What can be done about the Indian cricket team now? I can just hope that the selectors send some of them into exile. Play some county cricket, then earn your place in the team again. The team cannot should not carry on players who are at the verge of retiring just to give them a graceful exit. Play as long as you want, but only if you're worth for the Indian team.

What can be done about the coach? Since the coach refuses to accept the failure of 'their' strategy, I don't know. Chappell once said that the team was aiming for the World Cup and thus he qualified the messing and the muddling of the members and their playing positions. Now he says:-

Eighteen months is not a long time to build a team.

How much more time do you need, Guru Greg?

There are a lot of unanswered questions in the minds of Indian fans. Its time for the BCCI to answer these questions. Its the least they can do for a country which stays up late after midnight to faithfully watch India win. Being the richest cricket board is nothing, being the best is everything.

Spam on Orkut

Sigh. What do you do when you get spam like this through Orkut? I have preserved the formatting.

Hi ...Orkut is deleting Profiles again
message: Dear user because of
sudden rush of people signing upto orkut is come to an attention
that we
are vastly running our of resources so with in a week any one who
does not receive this scrap will be deleted of our server . We know
that you are still using this account We want to find out which
users
are actually using their orkut accounts so if you are using your
then please send this scrap to every orkut user that you can if u do
not pass this scrap to anyone then we will delete your account
Just
follow these simple steps. 1. Click on the "Messages Tab" in your
account. 2. Click on the "compose mail" option which is the last one
of
the four icons you see together. 3. Select "all friends" 4. Cut and
Paste this mail.

And this...

HEY ITS DIANNA, FROM THE DIRECTOR OF ORKUT,EVERYBODY SORRY FOR THE
INTERRUPTION BUT ORKUT IS CLOSING THE SYSTEM DOWN BECAUSE TOO MANY
BOTTERS ARE TAKING UP ALL THE NAMES, WE ONLY HAVE 57 NAMES LEFT, IF YOU
WOULD LIKE TO CLOSE YOUR ACCOUNT, DONT SEND THIS MESSAGE, IF YOU WANT
TO
KEEP YOUR ACCOUNT ,SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST. THIS IS
NOT A JOKE, YOU'LL BE SORRY IF YOU DONT SEND IT. THANKS DIRECTOR OF
ORKUT, TIM BUISKI. WHOEVER DOESNT SEND THIS MESSAGE, YOUR ACCOUNT WILL
BE
DEACTIVATED AND IT WILL COST YOU $ 10.00 A MONTH TO USE IT


C'mon people, do you think a company which gives you almost 3GB of space for free will suddenly run out of resources?! Sheesh, grow up. But then that's the problem. The people who send such mails won't ever read my blog, and those who read my blog (hopefully) won't ever send such mails.

World Cup Fever

Well, this World Cup seems to be a bit dull what with the odd timings of the matches for people living in India. I don't have the patience or energy to watch TV late into the night, almost into the next day. Maybe, if India reaches the semis, which looks really tough right now. Anyways a few snippets from the India-Bermuda match:-

• First and foremost, move over Inzy. The new aloo is here. I'm talking about Dwayne Leverock who took a blinder of a catch in the India-Bermuda match. The man just stretched out and gulped Robin Uthappa down. An brilliant catch considering his size and experience. The way he ran between the wickets was another sight to watch. He wasn't lazy. He gave it all. Nice maan! He is now among the top 5 players searched on CricInfo. On a side note, he is a policeman in his country. Guess the pandus everywhere are hefty.
  Bermudan coach Gus Logie has this to say about Leverock. "He is a guy with a big heart, he will always give 100 per cent and be first at training, it's just unfortunate that the weight issues take precedence."
  
  
• What I was really impressed with was the fielding of the Bermudans. For a team with around 4-5 Powar-sized players, they were surprisingly agile and enthusiastic. They slid and dived. They dropped catches but they tried.
  
  
• Tendulkar was wasted in the match. The Indian team was probably scared to death about losing against Bermuda and so they strengthened their middle order but sending Tendulkar this late wasn't required. Rather they should have sent him before Dhoni. Anyways, another excellent show by Dada, he really seems to have come back refreshed from his exile. Sehwag, one century doesn't a champion make. So you'll have to do better than a century against Bermuda to impress me. I don't understand why Dravid is so keen on playing Sehwag again and again. The law of averages finally helped Sehwag. But what about the other 15 matches where he got out for a measly score? His batting average in the last 16 matches is 22.73. His highest score was the one against Bermuda. He score more than 20 runs only two other times. You still believe in Sehwag? Lage raho.
  
  
• The World Cup has not been that exciting this year. Even though there are more teams and no clear favourites, it hasn't kindled the usual enthusiasm of the people. One reason I feel is that the value of the Cricket World Cup has been diluted because of other tournaments like ICC Champions Trophy. I do not feel the need for a 'mini World Cup'. According to ICC, it is required for the development of cricket. I do not understand this logic. Rather than have another tournament mirroring the World Cup, ICC should hold a tournament for the so-called minnows. Let them fight it out every two years or so, and decide which teams will play the World Cup. The winner of this 'Cricket Development Trophy' should get sufficient funds/resources/help in developing cricket in its country. That, I feel, will do more for cricket than burdening all the players and teams with a mini World Cup.
  

Looking forward to the next encounter with Sri Lanka. Lets see how they handle Murali and company.

World Cup Fever

Well, this World Cup seems to be a bit dull what with the odd timings of the matches for people living in India. I don't have the patience or energy to watch TV late into the night, almost into the next day. Maybe, if India reaches the semis, which looks really tough right now. Anyways a few snippets from the India-Bermuda match:-

• First and foremost, move over Inzy. The new aloo is here. I'm talking about Dwayne Leverock who took a blinder of a catch in the India-Bermuda match. The man just stretched out and gulped Robin Uthappa down. An brilliant catch considering his size and experience. The way he ran between the wickets was another sight to watch. He wasn't lazy. He gave it all. Nice maan! He is now among the top 5 players searched on CricInfo. On a side note, he is a policeman in his country. Guess the pandus everywhere are hefty.
  Bermudan coach Gus Logie has this to say about Leverock. "He is a guy with a big heart, he will always give 100 per cent and be first at training, it's just unfortunate that the weight issues take precedence."
  
  
• What I was really impressed with was the fielding of the Bermudans. For a team with around 4-5 Powar-sized players, they were surprisingly agile and enthusiastic. They slid and dived. They dropped catches but they tried.
  
  
• Tendulkar was wasted in the match. The Indian team was probably scared to death about losing against Bermuda and so they strengthened their middle order but sending Tendulkar this late wasn't required. Rather they should have sent him before Dhoni. Anyways, another excellent show by Dada, he really seems to have come back refreshed from his exile. Sehwag, one century doesn't a champion make. So you'll have to do better than a century against Bermuda to impress me. I don't understand why Dravid is so keen on playing Sehwag again and again. The law of averages finally helped Sehwag. But what about the other 15 matches where he got out for a measly score? His batting average in the last 16 matches is 22.73. His highest score was the one against Bermuda. He score more than 20 runs only two other times. You still believe in Sehwag? Lage raho.
  
  
• The World Cup has not been that exciting this year. Even though there are more teams and no clear favourites, it hasn't kindled the usual enthusiasm of the people. One reason I feel is that the value of the Cricket World Cup has been diluted because of other tournaments like ICC Champions Trophy. I do not feel the need for a 'mini World Cup'. According to ICC, it is required for the development of cricket. I do not understand this logic. Rather than have another tournament mirroring the World Cup, ICC should hold a tournament for the so-called minnows. Let them fight it out every two years or so, and decide which teams will play the World Cup. The winner of this 'Cricket Development Trophy' should get sufficient funds/resources/help in developing cricket in its country. That, I feel, will do more for cricket than burdening all the players and teams with a mini World Cup.
  

Looking forward to the next encounter with Sri Lanka. Lets see how they handle Murali and company.

Allocation for education increases

"In allocating resources, school education must have primacy. Hence I propose to increase the allocation for school education by about 35 percent from Rs. 17,1333 crore in 2006-07 to Rs. 23,142 crore in 2007-08"Hmm. Wonder where the money will actually go...

Had made this image a long time ago. Uploaded it now. Must be more prompt in future.

300 - March to glory

Just saw 300, the movie based on the comic book by Frank Miller. The story is about 300 Spartans who fight against the huge army of Xerxes, a Persian king. It is based on the battle of Thermopylae, though both Frank Miller (in his comic) and Jack Snyder (in the film) have tweaked it to make it more stylistic. I haven't read the comic yet but I know of Frank Miller's Sin City (which too was made into a movie by Robert Rodrigues of Desperado fame). His comic book style is - for the less comically inclined - Max Payne style. Stark, high contrast, two colour work. The trailer of the movie will be enough to get you to line up for the tickets. Though I must warn here that the movie is beautiful but is not like the typical Hollywood movie. There is enough violence in the movie but people expecting stuff like Gladiator will be disappointed. One needs some patience to sit through the movie. The good part is that there is something for almost everyone. If you're a fan of Frank Miller's style, then you'll like the way that Jack Snyder has been faithful to the comic book. If you're a fan of CGI, you'll absolutely love the landscapes. The movie was entirely shot on blue/green screen with the backgrounds added later on. If you like war, you'll like the 300 men fighting against the 'hundred nations of the Persian empire'. And to top it all, the soundtrack highly complements the action on screen.

This movie is likely to become a cult favourite like the Matrix or the LOTR trilogy. Though a sequel seems improbable, lets hope that Frank Miller comes up with another equally interesting story to follow up on this amazing movie.

PS. One thing though, watch this movie with your friends. If you have a girlfriend don't take her to this movie. She'll berate you for the same all your life. Instead treat her to some half-baked movie like Honeymoon Travels or Just Married. Then you can berate her for all your life.

Update: The only thing I didn't like about the movie were the cliched speeches. Some samples - "This is where we fight. This is where they die", "Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time". Another thing I found unnecessary was the narration It was really irritating. Yes, the whole story was written from the point of view of Dilios narrating the epic battle. But it could have been avoided in the movie.

The two World Cups

This weekend, two of the biggest sporting events (for me) are starting. First the Cricket World Cup. Technically it has already started but the first match of India is on the 17th. And second, the 2007 Formula One season is starting at the same time with the first race on the 18th in Australia. This year there are quite a few similarities between these two sports. With the retirement of Michael Schumacher the F1 championship is open. You can always argue that other drivers had already taken his position. But it was only on a bad day for Schumacher or due to technical failure in the car. The grit and determination of the man was unmatchable.

Many changes have been made in this year's championship. Rules have been changed concerning safety cars, practice sessions, tire availability etc. Bridgestone will be the sole tire supplier this year. Those of who complained about tires being the most important thing in the race and downplayed the achievement and skill of drivers can now shut up. Sadly there will be no close contests between Alonso and Schumacher. The latter will be though racing through each track in his mind. The shifting of the drivers between teams is also going to be interesting. No more Montoya for McLaren. In fact he has retired from F1 and gone to Nascar. Alonso takes his place. Raikonnen has similarly shifted from McLaren to Ferrari. He will partner upcoming driver F. Massa. (Hoping for a good run from Massa this year. He showed some potential last year.) As far as teams are concerned, I guess at the beginning of the season the three top teams are likely to be Ferrari, Renault and McLaren (in no particular order). Lets see how the season picks up.

My picks for the drivers championship - Alonso, Raikonnen, and maybe Fisichella. Even Jenson Button is lurking in the shadows.

The similarity with the Cricket World Cup is that again here Australia is no longer the clear favourites. Seeing the recent performance of the Aussie team, it seems that many other teams can win over the world champions on a good day. Ricky Ponting will have his hands full this year. Preaching about the Indian team is like talking to a child who doesn't listen. The same old people making the same old mistakes. I could write a lot about the cricket team but I'll just shut my mouth and watch the matches. Dada, a lot depends on you now. You have a thing or two to prove.

Adios to one and All the best to the other two.

Man who would be God

Here's a simple test for the person who is claiming to be God. Give him a wildcard entry to Kaun Banega Crorepati. Let's see if he clears the fastest finger first round. If he doesn't let him go back to his job (if he still has it). If he does, at least the money will cure some of his delusion.

The changing colours of India

While passing through the main bazaar road of Vapi, I saw many shops selling Holi wares - water guns, gulal, colour powders etc. Children were pestering their parents to buy the latest water guns and choicest colours to spray on their friends. What was interesting is that most of these shops are divided into two areas, an inner area which is the main shop, where they sell their usual stuff; and an outer temporary stall where they sell certain things according to the season. In Diwali, the colours are replaced by fire-crackers; in Ganesh Chaturthi, idols of Ganapati are placed; in the monsoon, umbrellas hang out in the shops. Also its not that only a certain kind of shops use this strategy. Among the ones I saw were a mobile shop, a cosmetics store, an electrical store, even the old Writer stores which usually sells mouse traps among other things. It is interesting to see the owners (cleverly) supplement their income through these temporary stalls. Seeing the changing facade of these shops gives a fleeting glimpse of the changing colours of the festivals of India.

Religious fanaticism - A lack of confidence?

"You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it's always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt."

This interesting paragraph from the book I’m reading currently Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance makes me think of the religious fundamentalism that is sweeping, not just India, but the world over. Be it Hindu fundamentalism, including the Bajrang Dal and the Shiv Sena, or the Islamic organizations like Al Qaeda and JEM who perpetrate violence in the name of religion. They talk about their undying faith and belief in their respective religions and their holy books. They urge people to follow those traditions and make anyone who doesn’t follow these traditions their enemy. They say all of their tradition is being replaced by ‘western culture.’ Come to think of it, it does this show their lack of confidence in their own culture? Their goal of an Islamic state or a Hindu rashtra gets diluted with the spread of western influences. Is this why they resort to fanaticism?

Empty soda can pen holder

A lazy Sunday afternoon.

Two empty soda can bottles.

Nothing better to do.

Out comes a soda can pen holder.

Baba Ramdevji, now can your empty Ayurvedic medicine bottles do that?

Oh yeah, happy birthday to me

Unused potential

My life till now has been wasted potential. Or more correctly, unused potential. Like a dedh-volt battery lying in an unused torch I haven’t been able to use my energy and ability to provide light, if not for others, even for myself. Due to some reason which I do not remember I have been pushed under the darkest of the farthest corner of the shop. My only companions are cockroaches and ants. A friendly little mouse rocks me back and forth when it tries to nibble the plastic switch off the torch I’m in. Other than that I lie still. I do not know how long I have been lying here. I don’t know how much of my energy is still left. All I know is that I’m in the wrong place. All I know is that I have to get out of here. I’m waiting for the day when the shopkeeper will find me, look at me, check if I’m still working. That day I will brightly shine into his face and lighten up his shop and it will be the happiest moment of my life. I have waited long in this damp dark corner. If I can now only push, push the torch into rolling out in the open. Help me little mouse. No I must learn to do this on my own.

Shilpa Shetty wins Big Brother

Shilpa Shetty finally won the controversial reality show Big Brother. In a related story, a drunk bicyclist rammed into a telephone pole on Daman road. Yawn.

Black Friday

Black Friday - the much acclaimed film on the Mumbai bomb blasts is finally set to release in India. Although pirated copies are freely available on the Net, I was waiting to get my hands on a proper copy of the film. Better still, I'll be able to watch it in cinemas. Finally a break from the Karan Johars and the Nikhil Advanis.

Since much has been said and written about the film, I'd rather talk about one of the songs in the album. The songs have been performed by Indian Ocean. The song I'm talking about is called Bandeh. Here are some extracts from the song which are my favourite.

...are neendein hai jakhmi
are sapne hai bhooke...

are mandir ye chup hai are masjid ye gumsum
ibadat thak padegi ho...

...kise kafir kahega kise kayar kahega
teri kab tak chalegi ho

Full lyrics of the song are available here.