Yeh hai meri kahani

Before one year - Hum jahaan khade hote hein, day-0 wahin sey shuru hota hai

Before placements - Bhagwan mainey tumse aaj tak kuch nahin maanga.....

During the interview,

Me - Main is resume per haath rakhkar yeh saugandh leta hoon ki jo bhi kahoonga sach kahoonga, aur sach ke siva kuch nahin kahoonga.

Interviewer - I-Bankers ke bayaanat aur sub-prime ko madde nazar rakhtey Taz-e-raat-e-hind, dafaa 302 ke tahet , muzrim ko 5 lakh ki pagaar di jaati hai

Me - Maa, me 5 lakh ka MBA banne wala hu

Mom - Yahi din dekhne ke liye maine tujhe paal pos ke bada kiya tha? Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhaane ke layak nahin rahe

(Prospective) Father in Law - Haraamzaadey! Teri itni himmat! Meri beti par dorey daalta hai! Teri haesiyat he kya hai? Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein

Dost (IIM waley) - Maine tumhe kya samjha, Aur tum kya nikley!

Girl friend - Mai kahti hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey

Doctor - I'm sorry, hum kuch nahin kar saktey. Ab Sab oopar waale key haath mein hai

Faculty - Bhagwaan pe bharosa rakho. Sab thik ho jaiye ga

Of Sardars and Idli

What is the height of frustration?
A hungry sardarji sitting in Murugan's Idli Shop.

Cchange forrtunes througgh numerology

It's official now. Alternative career options are coming back with a big banng. After the recent foray of Jawed Habib into hair-cutting schools, Sanjay B. Jumaani (did I get the number of as right?) is planning to open a numerology school where he plans to teach eeager students the art of adding, twisting and dropping letters from the nnames of celebrities and movies to supposedly turn around their fortunes. He was the 'engineer' behind the naming of the hugely popular movie 'Singh is Kinng', though it remains to be seeeen whether that was the reason why the movie was actually successful. Like a true businessman he says that currently this market is largely unorganized and thus there is a huge potential for such business.

In my opinion, it was ok when you changed the spellings of names of movies or actors. It's their personal choice on how they want to spell their name. My English teacher in school used to tell me that you can pronounce proper nouns any way you like. But what gets to me is the uninhibited way they change the spellings of English words to suit their numerological beliefs. Isn't there any such thing as good grammar? Thus we have names like Singh is Kinng, Heyy Babyy and C Kkompany. Well, Bbollywood cannot be bothered with such petty issues. As long as the film doesn't have any content, the sstrange sounding name won't worsen it anyhow.

One more business opportunityy I missssed. Dammnn.

Hair-cutting schools

Jawed Habib has opened a hair-styling academy in my home town, Vapi. Now, I would consider opening a saloon would be logical but opening a training school for hair-cutting? In Vapi? I didn't know there were so many budding barbers in this town! After 12th standard, forget engineering, MBA, MBBS. Give the HAT (Hair-cutting Aptitude Test) and join the academy. According to an ad of his, the world needs more Jawed Habibs. Wondering how many will he find in Vapi?

But consider the following statements:-
* Hairstyling is the career of the century.
* The beauty saloon industry is growing at a rate of 40% and is around Rs 1500 crore.

Here are some back of the envelope calculations I actually had the time and craziness to perform...











As I passed through the academy today, another thought crossed my mind. I wonder how do they give training to the students? I mean the theory would be straight-forward, but what about the lab sessions? Where do they get volunteers to try their hair-cutting skills on? I wonder which is more scary - going under a medical intern's scalpel or under a barber-trainee's scissors?

For me going to a hair-saloon as fancy as this is like visiting a fancy Italian restaurant - I never know what to order. I prefer the IIT Madras saloon kinds where there is no need of a menu. Medium or short. That is it. Someday I may have to go to such saloons if a particular some one insists. Well that'll be the day...

Anyway welcome to the city, Jawedbhai H.B.B.S. Your presence in the city means that my small town is expanding and I have a good business opportunity here.

Goodbye Mr. Akhtar

He set the record for the fastest ball bowled
He hit a team mate with a bat
He led an 'active' sex life.










He was charged for doping
He is now banned for five years

Good bye Shoaib Akhtar, you won't be missed. And wherever you are, get rid of that accent.

The Office of Dunder Mifflin

Right now I'm watching the Halloween episode of the award-winning comedy the Office and laughing my guts out. The Office is based on a similar British series of the same name. Even though I had heard of this unique and wacky sitcom (can one really call it a sitcom?) the Office, more than a year ago, I only started to watch it last year. And I must say that the Office series is brilliant. No wonder it has got so many awards. The show even has its own website here. The unique aspect about this is that the camera is hand held and the action seems all spontaneous. The actors at times look at and talk to the camera giving an indication of a third party being present.


Each of the characters in the Office have some quirk or the other and they are hilarious in their own right. Jim and Pam's awkward and secret (or not so secret) dalliance with each other. Dwight Schrute's paranoia, his constant butt-licking of the boss, and his one-upping of the other employees of Dunder Mifflin. The never-ending jokes by the boss on Phyllis (the fat woman) and pseudo-racist jokes on Stanley - the proverbial black guy in the office. And of course how can you forget the boss, Michael Scott played by Steve Carell. He amazingly plays the irritating boss who constantly tries to put the best side of him to the camera and how he supposedly cares for the employees. His attempts at modesty and self-effacing are hilarious, partly because that is what happens in real life too. Each episode Michael faces a different situation which he somehow manages to deal with. Another interesting aspect of work life depicted in this show is the relation between the management and the shop floor. Michael Scott unwaveringly tries to try out his motivation techniques on the workers in the warehouse who obviously don't care a shit about his attempts.

Let me finish watching this episode now. Did I mention that I have a Corporate Finance exam tomorrow? Oh well. Forget F.R.I.E.N.D.S.; go watch the Office, especially if you think that after an MBA, things will be all hunky dory in the office.

The joys of being a consultant

Sigh... The real joy of being a consultant.











At this point, let me clarify a misconception that have plagued consultants from the advent of crore-plus salaries. There goes a one-liner saying 'Consultants are people who take your watch to tell you the time and charge you for it.'

Agreed. That's what consultants do, but the important thing here is that the watch (your business) is not the typical watch with a clear digital display. The watch (your business) here is an ancient sundial or (god forbid) it could even be a candlestick. Now tell me, will you be able to tell the correct time on this watch of yours or do you need a pistol packing consultant like the above depicted?

Gunda - Movie Extraordinaire

There are two epidemics spreading rapidly in Pamba Hostel which yours truly is guilty of starting. The first is the under 2$ whiteboard and the second is the cult Mithun movie Gunda. I felt that both these deserve their own post. This post will talk about Gunda. This movie has a cult following in IITs and IIMs. I don't want to dilute the cultism of the movie by describing it here. GreatBong has written about it. If you're keen on watching the movie without letting a review spoilt it, some online shopping site sells this movie for around 8 Euros. That is 432 freaking Rupees. Is it worth buying the movie? With that amount, I could have eat about 7.1 Subway sandwiches. Still I have to say that it is a movie which has many USPs - Mithun (hereby referred to as Prabhuji), an assorted set of villains, a monkey which can rival Yuvraj Singh in catches, and a world record for the largest number of rickshaws ever used in a fight scene (The multi-starrer superhit 'Main hu mard rickshaw-wallah' doesn't count as it used special effects in many scenes).

Even the soundtrack is something to write about. Hummable and singable superhits like Nasha nasha karta hai, is nashe me dum nahi or Teri akhon ka jaadu chal gaya. I wish I could find mp3s of the soundtrack. Kanti Shah must have used some latesht state of the art technology to prevent duplication of the tracks. Another feather in his cap, I guess. I wonder if Himess can make a remix out of it.

Go watch the movie. But leave your brains behind.

Blame it on sub-prime

If the sub-prime crisis has given anything to the junta in general, it is a no-holds-barred excuse to attribute anything and everything to the crisis. Even though the topic is now stale and the interest of the people is moving on to newer issues like the never ending bull run in the Indian stock market or the Sethusamudram project, sub-prime has become a common term in our vocabulary.

The appreciating rupee? Because of sub-prime.
Rising interest rates? Because of sub-prime.
Falling interest rates? Because of sub-prime.

Even in the classroom, we find the sub-prime crisis rising up now and again in all subjects ranging from Economics to Operations Research and Organizational Behaviour. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has now become an expert in sub-prime. Its high time when I'm waiting for the following scenario

While at the local snack parlour,
Me: Why have you increased the price of bread omelette?
Gurunath stores: Saar, sub-prime. Hens tensed up. Supply of eggs low. So omelette now more expensive.

Prime excuse of sub-prime
Professor: Why didn't you come to class yesterday?
Me: Sir, I was affected by an acute attack of sub-prime.

What is MBA?

Bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit fart bullshit bullshit bullshit crap bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit

What's with all the high fundu Sanksrit names?

As an MBA student, a very important and common occurrence is the B-school fests and the related contests. While most of these B-fests are fun and worthwhile to participate in , one interesting thing I have noticed about these fests or at least their names is that they are almost always in Sanskrit or in shuddh Hindi. Most of them are high funda names whose meaning I don't understand without staring and thinking for a minute.

I understand the reason for having the title of the B-fest itself in a language other than English, it adds charm and exclusivity to the whole festival, but do individual events have to sound so fundu too? Why can't we have names which are easy for everyone to understand at a single glance? Why do I have to look up the dictionary to understand what Pratidwandi means or what am I supposed to do in Shashwat? A similar trend to follow is to use Latin names. A simple stock market game has to be called Prosapia venalicium venatus. And a hospes sermo would garner more attendance than a guest talk.

'Hey do you know I'm participating in Navinmetra and Udgati?'
'Um... that's nice, all the best for ... uh... whatever you will do there...'

I wonder if this trend is an extension of would-be and new managers to spout out new fundae the meaning of which even they can't explain in real terms leave alone the poor listener. Whatever it is, the trend of giving out such names is likely to continue, because that is precisely what it is - a fashion. And as usual, I feel otherwise. What I would rather suggest is the addition of a subtitle in English like those Hindi movies. It will help angrez ki aulads - The children of the Britishers like me. We can have Parichay - The introduction, or Antardarshi - Timing the stock market etc.

Before ending this, it would be only proper to share the festivals here at IIT Madras. Saarang is the hugely popular cultural festival, Shaastra is the tech-fest, Samanvay is the b-fest.




Note - Names of some B-school fests have been changed to protect identity. The words given above may not mean anything. If you plan to use any of them, I deserve a royalty.

My future?

Who the fudge makes all these effigies?!

For all you budding entrepreneurs and businessmen, here is an interesting business proposal. Have you ever wondered who makes all these effigies which are being burnt in the middle of the streets every time a minor issue comes up in the society? Effigies have been burnt of almost every imaginable person or thing. We have had effigies of Greg Chappell, Darrell Hair, the Iraq war, producers of Big Brother and even onions. Nowadays if you haven't burnt an effigy, you haven't done anything significant to help society. Looking at this craze, I feel there is a very good opportunity of starting a profitable business in making effigy-models. Demand from all over the world will ensure that our business won't be restricted just to India. We can export these effigies to our neighbouring countries and the Middle-East as well, where there is already a fledgling market thanks to Dubya and his dubious war.

I mean what would be the investment? The public isn't looking for an exact look-alike of the person being burnt. All you need is a resemblance of a human figure. Two hands, two legs and a head. The face of the celebrity can be printed out easily and cheaply (We can charge a premium on laser-prints). Of course, the final price will be decided once we develop a proper business model. And with all the media channels in a hyperactive mode, we are sure to have a profitable cash flow as well. Moreover the social work we are doing by letting people vent their frustrations through burning effigies will work wonders for the Corporate Social Responsibility crap.

Thirty five sq. metres of land has been acquired adjacent to the proposed Maha Mumbai SEZ for our manufacturing facilities. Our tagline - 'Making efficient effigies in indigenous SEZs'. It rhymes too.

This would be just a sample of our services
* 24-hour delivery
* Black and white or colour effigy
* Different sizes - Economy, Medium, Large, Premium etc.
* 7-day money back guarantee (Conditions apply)
* Scented effigies - sandalwood, rose, orange etc.
* One box of matches free with every effigy.

The downside. The pollution issue. How much does effigy burning contribute to global warming? George Bush would find a reason to invade a country - Weapons of Global Warming. But shhh, this information will stay within the Board.

Ping me if you want to finance this venture :)

High American standard company contacts me

I found this mail today in my Inbox.

---
Hello Friend,

I saw your profile on Timesjobs.com [hell, even I don't know my profile anymore] and short listed few people to present an unique Home Based Work Offer.

We are an International American Company. [like the phrase, our company is world famous in India]
We are operating in 64 major countries working for past 26 years.
We Deal in Health Nutrition & Tele Communication.
Right now our company is looking out for people for its new division called "ShapeWorks" TM,
to perform different functions


like, Customer care, Supervising, Management,
Working on Internet with an option of Working from home.
Without sacrificing your current occupation.
Our company provides all support and training needed.
You can do it part time or full time in flexible hours.
No Qualification or Experience Needed…
And we have a High American standard of income.

For more information you can come down to one of the oriantayion [I was gonna apply but this put me off] sessions on:



26th april 2007 thurssday [???] at 6.00 pm sharp*
or
27th april 2007 friday at 6.00pm sharp*
at
hotel sahaja palace,conferanceroom.ashram road.behinddinesh hall near torant house [umm, which city should I go to?]


These are the only dates for company oriantation [arre atleast you should have copy-pasted from above]
And Ask for Mrs.xxxxx at the counter.

All the best,
MRS. XXXXX

Director- Business development
xxxxxx@yahoo.com
CALL, 09xxxxxxx, 022xxxxxxx

Please Take Print out of this letter to the interview.

*There will be a Regn Fee of Rs.30 at the counter

Dilbert comic for 23rd April - Long boring meetings

This comic strip made me laugh like a baboon! Can't wait to get into the boardroom and witness this firsthand. :-)) The interesting thing is that this happens in the classroom too.













PS. My only concern is, are baboons allowed inside the boardroom?

Gourmet coffee, anyone?

After going through the coffee lovers' thread at pagalguy.com, I realized how far the coffee industry had come. With retailing coming into the forefront in India and with the setting up of international coffee chains, people now sip coffee named 'The Devil's own', 'Almond Frappe','Kaapi Nirvana' etc. And to think that I'm still stuck at the small Bru/Nescafe pouch. Just add water and sugar, it says, and you'll have your own espresso ready. Sip... Lick... Ummmm... it says. Well, never mind the fact that its more of sip... blechh... spit... @#$!%&*

I have never been attracted to coffee. For me it never did its job. In fact, coffee has a calming effect on me, quite the opposite to what it is supposed to do. I remember the countless number of times during my CAT preparation that I have felt asleep just after having a cup of coffee. For me the good old chai is a major addiction - especially in the morning. Don't try to talk with me before I have had my morning tea or I'll make you squirm in pain.

Whenever I have had coffee, it was due to circumstances. Coffee helped a lot in my college days. It was mainly because I hadn't come across any instant tea mix. During the submissions and the exams, the all-nighters had to be survived through. The 3Rs. Nescafe pouch helped me through those long nights. But I'm sure I was only one of some ten people in Ahmedabad who actually drank that instant coffee. I remember my roomie looking at me strangely many a times whenever I drank this concoction. Another time when it helped was at my previous company. Gathering with fellow internet surfers software developers and spending time near the vending machine was always a good excuse to get away from the boss. Eventually we had worked out a strategy which involved visiting the vending machines on all the floors once in a day. Ultimately we calculated that a mixture of 3/4ths coffee and 1/4th tomato soup will do wonders to your concentration and help you through the siesta sessions meetings. But there was a side effect on some which involved an extra visit or two to the loo (which again was a welcome break).

To me, coffee has been useful in many ways. It may have its lovers, but for me, Wagh Bakri scores over The Devil's Own.

Kkkaash Mmujh Mein Bhhi Thodii Akkal Hotiii

Although it is still a draft, here is my first episode.

[Suspenseful music and slow motion as the husband walks in to the hall]

Husband01: My watch! It has stopped ticking.
[Heavy drums. Zoom-ins of all the other members of the family one by one. Pan the camera from one shocked face to another]

Vamp:[Looks down and smiles smugly] Relationji, are you sure it isn't your brain which has stopped ticking?
[Zoom in on the lips, and the sly smile]

Mother-in-law: [Eyes wide open. Stern expression.] Bahu, talk with some respect. Do you have any idea what you are saying?

Vamp: [Looks sideways and smirks.] Its true only. The whole samaj knows that you dropped him on his head while he was small. Who knows what all has stopped ticking?

Mother-in-law(of vamp): [Red hot eyes. Burns in anger] Slapppppppp! [Multiple echoes of the slap. Drums again. Zoom in to the astonished and lost faces of the family members.]

A quick ad first...

This programme is sponsored by Anacin. Quick relief from headaches.

Note: Anacin is currently available only in limited quantities. Most of the stock is used by the Board of Directors of the company for agreeing to sponsor this programme. Our sponsorship ends after two months. Thereafter we will be free to release more medicine to the general public.


Back to the programme...

Mother-in-law(of vamp): [Red hot eyes. Burns in anger] Slapppppppp! [Multiple echoes of the slap. Drums again. Zoom in to the astonished and lost faces of the family members.]

Mother-in-law(of vamp): [Wipes the make up stuck on her hand from the slap. Tears come to her eyes.]

Vamp: [Turning to face her husband (Husband02)] Aiejee, ojee. See what your budhiya mother is doing to me. You said to me you'll take care of me after our marriage. This is what you do, stand silently while your mother insults me in front of the whole family (and the 10 crore fools which are glued to their TV sets ) ? I won't stay a moment in this wretched house. [Turns around and walks out from the set]

Husband02: My dear Vamp, wait for me. [Follow Vamp out of the set].

Mother-in-law(of vamp): Bahu (To wife of Husband01). Look after your husband. You're the only one who will take care of this huge house after I have an argument with the director over payment issues I die. Please take care of this house as your own.

Wife01 [Wife of Husband01]: Jee maaji. [Turning to Husband01] .Come let us go, buy a new battery for your watch. Then it will start ticking.

In the next episode... Who do Husband01 and Wife01 encounter when they reach the watch repair store? Who is the owner of the watch repair store? What is the relation between OwnerOfWatchRepairStore and Wife01? Keep watching for more of Kkkaash Mmujh Mein Bhhi Thodii Akkal Hotiii. Write in the comments on how you liked this first episode.

Wanted - Shooting crew for a new daily soap

After failed stints as a software engineer and an MBA aspirant, I'm planning to pursue a new career, that of a TV soap producer. I know this is a thankless field, lots of hard work with not much ROI, but the pleasure which the viewers of my soap will get, the appreciation which they will shower on me will be enough for me to carry on this altruistic work. Here are the current requirements and the briefs for the show. I want a fresh approach and thus I'm building everything from scratch. If you meet any or all of these requirements, please comment or mail me.

Editor: One who is experienced in rewinding and forwarding film endlessly, so that the viewer is continuously bombarded with the latest fashion, the dialogues, the locations etc. Your responsibility is to think up of ways to expand 5 minutes of footage into some 12.5 minutes of an episode. Also, while editing, the following division of the 30 minutes will be preferred:-

• 5 minutes recap of the previous day's episode
  
• 7.5 minutes of ads
• 12.5 minutes of today's episode
• 5 minutes preview of next day's episode

Camera Crew: One who is adept at the techniques of zooming and panning. Only candidates who have relevant experience in this may apply. Tilting the camera sideways to show the metaphorical earthquakes in the lives of the characters will be (to take a phrase from Midnight's Children) a masterful stroke, yaara. Experience in multiple camera setups (so that the zooming can be done in parallel) will be a bonus point.
Warning: Constant zooming in and out can lead to Carpal Tunnel Syndrome for the cameramen and epileptic seizures for the viewers. The producers are not responsible for any damages that may arise due to the same. After all, we wouldn't be making this soap if we cared so much about the viewers.

Post production & Special Effects: Since most of the special effects will be taken care of by the makeup artistes, we do not require a Silicon Graphics setup. However, talks are in progress with Industrial Light and Magic for the special effects. Ours will be the first Indian television programme to use Hollywood-style special effects. Not even the world famous The Bald and the Bootyful have used such effects. But for now, the applicant must be deft in tweaking the hue and saturation of the characters especially after shocking revelations. e.g.

Man: I'm about to become the father of your child.
Woman: What?! [Zoom, Pan to the woman. Decrease saturation. Turn the whole scene to black and white. Stay for two seconds. Increase saturation. Again back to normal.]

This all has to be done with split-second precision. Thus you will have a very important responsibility of adding colour to the lives of the characters (and removing that from the lives of the viewers).

Make-up artistes: The entire operation hinges on the make-up artistes. For most of the scenes, only two palettes will be required - the Vamp palette and the Bahurani palette. The former should contain blues, greens, browns etc. and the latter should contain pink, red, and other soft colours. At any point of time, the characters must not be without makeup, be it just after waking up, after taking a bath, or after giving birth to a child. We want to show that the bahuranis are beautiful naturally and don't require any makeup.

We have an arrangment with KaKool Hair & Beauty Saloon (Goregaon branch) for providing foundation cakes and hair colour at a discounted rate. So liberal use of the same is encouraged. Innovative techniques such as using chili powder for the maangtikaas will do wonders to improving your chances for selection. The chili power will not only subsidise our costs, but will also make the bahuranis cry with more ease when the powder drips onto their eyes or nose.

Costume Designers: Just like the make-up palette, the fashion wardrobe will be divided into two types. One - loud, revealing, outrageous dresses for the vamps and the other - conservative, covered-from-head-to-toe kind of dresses. Other accessories such as jewelery should follow the same trend. Bindis in the shape of hearts, clubs, diamonds, spades, snakes, ladders etc. will be preferred for the vamps. Bahuranis will have round bindis.

The vamps will use the latest mobile phones to hatch their subversive plots on the innocent bahuranis and jamairajas. The bigger the cellphone the better. According to currently running soaps, the Nokia Communicator series is preferred. Good news: we have tied up with MTNL to provide the ringtones for all the mobile phones used in the programme. Thus, the phrase 'MTNL hai to behtar hai' will play out every time a mobile rings. Actors and crew members are expected to show their allegiance by replacing their favourite ringtones with this one. Again, to subsidise costs, we may replace the actual phone by using a dummy or even a compass box. We will assume that the audience is foolish enough not to know the difference (after all it is watching this show). For the bahuranis, the accessories will include sitars, harmoniums and/or cooking utensils.

Writer: You are the one of the most important crew members. The entire story depends on your fertile mind. You will be expected to provide innumerable twists and turns, ups and downs, lefts and rights to the story. Writing the story while commuting on Mumbai roads will provide natural inspiration. Keep in mind that the story should start out as something and end out something completely different. That will be a true test of your creativity.

While you're free to explore different genres, the storyline of our programme will be a combination of - A suitable boy (Vikram Seth), Autobiography of a Yogi (Paramhansa Yogananda), Morning, Noon and Night (Sidney Sheldon) and I, Robot (Isaac Asimov). Please submit a sample of your writing while applying so we can gauge your writing expanse.

Sound editor: Your responsibility will be to provide a background score keeping in mind the events on screen. Your musical canvas must include thunder, lightning, drum rolls, high hats. Think of it as a jugalbandhi with the constant zooming and panning of the camera crew. You don't need to be a Rahman but don't be a Reshammiya either.

Director: You will be responsible for converting the writer's regurgitations dream to the screen. You must be assertive. You must be be willing to enforce discipline on the crew members. Conflicts on set must be handled with finesse. The current trend is to just threaten to bump off the character in the soap. We will modify this technique by making the character go in to an indefinite coma. We have specially erected a hospital set for the same. However this technique doesn't work for off-screen crew members. Innovative suggestions are welcome.

That's all for now. I will keep updating this list as and when I hire and fire people. Bookmark it for the latest updates. The title of our programme hasn't been finalised, but going by current trends, it will start with a Kk (Yes, that's a letter which is soon to be added in the English alphabet).

Update: My writer has just provided the first episode. Carry on reading the first episode

Shilpa Shetty wins Big Brother

Shilpa Shetty finally won the controversial reality show Big Brother. In a related story, a drunk bicyclist rammed into a telephone pole on Daman road. Yawn.

Crazy kyun kiya re

Is it just me or does Bollywood come out every year with a song that manages to grate my nerves and at the same time go on to become a huge hit? Maybe its time for me to adjust my musical tastes. Last year it was Aashiq banaya aapne by the now-lost-in-the-shadows Himesh Reshammiya. And this year, it is Crazy Kiya Re from Dhoom 2. The whole song is filled with nothing but these very words repeated mindlessly. This song literally drives me crazy. I'm scared to even find out who the singer is.

Thanks to my music-loving(?) neighbour, I have to listen to this song every other day. Well, to each his own. But unlike last year, all my exams are over and done with. So instead of plugging up my ears with cotton, I put on Limp Bizkit at full blast and that is enough to drown out the wails. Until that time when my neighbour gets more sense or I get a more sensible neighbour, let me just enjoy the music that I like.